Summer Salad publised in Goa Today Magazine

Review on Goa... published in Goa today magazine

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''I can only rise every time I fall''

I would like to share one of the parables ' Donkey in the well ' as it is learning lesson to face life for success in most difficult times. 

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, that the well needed to be covered anyway and that it just wasn't worth retrieving the donkey. 

So he invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to every one's amazement, he quietened down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. 

With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone were amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! 

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

I feel this story is applicable in every walk of my life, whether dealing with people, at personal, social or professional level. 

Every time I fail I should shift my failure from my thoughts to my legs and step on it further and further without looking back only to aim and achieve.

''I can only rise every time I fall''

Control your attention, and you control your mind.

I would like to share this little story ''The Elephant and the fly'' to all my readers written by Remez Sasson which I feel is very inspiring and lesson we can learn from something that is so basic yet true.

A disciple and his teacher were walking through the forest. The disciple was disturbed by the fact that his mind was in constant unrest.

He asked his teacher: "Why most people's minds are restless, and only a few possess a calm mind? What can one do to still the mind?"

The teacher looked at the disciple, smiled and said:
"I will tell you a story. An elephant was standing and picking leaves from a tree. A small fly came, flying and buzzing near his ear. The elephant waved it away with his long ears. Then the fly came again, and the elephant waved it away once more".

This was repeated several times. Then the elephant asked the fly:
"Why are you so restless and noisy? Why can't you stay for a while in one place?"

The fly answered: "I am attracted to whatever I see, hear or smell. My five senses pull me constantly in all directions and I cannot resist them. What is your secret? How can you stay so calm and still?"

The elephant stopped eating and said:
"My five senses do not rule my attention. Whatever I do, I get immersed in it. Now that I am eating, I am completely immersed in eating. In this way I can enjoy my food and chew it better. I rule and control my attention, and not the other way around."

Upon hearing these words, the disciple's eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face. He looked at his teacher and said:
"I understand! If my five senses are in control of my mind and attention, then my mind is in constant unrest. If I am in charge of my five senses and attention, then my mind becomes calm".

"Yes, that's right", answered the teacher, " The mind is restless and goes wherever the attention is. Control your attention, and you control your mind".

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lesson for life in bullet points

20 years ago my math teacher screamed at me for scoring poor in class, I always consider her rude without realising that I got only better from the day I was told off.
19 years ago I met my best friend who still is my best friend even though miles away, I have no answers to why I always liked her.
18 years ago I hated that new tall girl in my class as she made me second to the tallest, but I forgot to appreciate the fact that I had more friends even then.
17 years ago I easily showed off to my friends about my dad's extra love for me as he always stood by me in every event of my school days, forgetting that my act could hurt and mislead my friends and they could then doubt on love their parents had to offer.

16 years back I made new friend and enjoyed spending more time with her, I forgot to involve or think about my best friend who must have felt left out.
15 years back I prayed all day so I could score good points in exams, time I spent praying I forgot I could have study.
14 years back I met my first love of my life, I am still glad that my love taught me to use my heartbeats before words. I don't remember if I gave anything in return.
13 years back I was happy that I successfully got into university to complete my graduation and I was glad I don't have to go to school everyday, I am still ashamed that I forgot to thank all those teachers in my school who made my journey possible.

12 years back I decided to fall out of my first love as I got feelings that our love will only get cold over the years, I was so inconsiderate as I decided without consulting and made stories for easy fall out.
11 years back I was so glad as my brother was growing tall and strong and so took him out with my friends more often, I was so stupid to avoid him before as I missed on all those good times I could have had with my only brother.
10years back I was getting more attracted to new technologies never realised that it was pulling me away from basic existence of human life.

9 years ago I was spending good time with my grandparents as they had plenty of stories and their experiences to share. I thought their experiences were stories without realising that those stories were their hardship and my existence was only possible because they faced those hardships.
8 years back I was happy as I got job in financial sector. Not until today I thought of thanking that math teacher who I considered rude in those days when I was only 8.
7 years back I got promoted where I was working, I never realised it was leading to start of my materialistic lifestyle.
6 years back I met my soul mate and promised to live with him forever in good and bad, it was very easy to promise but can get difficult. I never thought I actually stood strong in good and bad, this only makes me feel better.

5 years back I was very happy as I purchased house to make a home. I did not pray for those who had no homes or lost them in natural disasters.
4 years back I started getting more and more into things I wanted to buy, I did not think to find out if those things were reasons for my happiness .If I was happy without them.
3 years back I found that I was soon stepping into new responsibility for rest of my life as I was soon going to be mother. I can now relate to how my mum felt when I acted irresponsible every time.

2 years back I was thinking of buying bigger house and one more investment property, I never thought of reality that no matter how many properties I buy, I can only be happy to be and live around my husband and my son and sleep on one bed at a time and die and get buried in one coffin.
A year back I was thinking of people I am not in touch due to several reasons like anger, jealousy, selfishness, antagonism, carelessness but I only realised recently that it makes no difference if I was in talking terms with them. They are still where they are supposed to be and they will carry on with their lives with or without me. I am only carrying them in my thoughts.

20 years back I was only 8 years old and had very little understanding to what lessons I get to learn from my teachers who will be with me forever, events of my life in a big classroom of my thoughts.

I made bullet points of lessons I learnt from my past events of my life, so I could read them again and again every time I failed to remember real reasons of my existence.

* What I see it as rude is actually like alarm on my reminder. It is time to change myself.
* If I get along well with someone for years then it’s definitely worth to be treasured forever. Relationships work well because both know ins and outs of each other good or bad.
* It is good to come across people who are better than me, even though I get discouraged for a while but eventually I will get exposed to the reality. This world is full of good, better and best.
* I got to respect what others don't have. Showing off will one day put me down, as I will be graded as thoughtless person?
* It is good to meet new people, as it helps in growing inner self. But forgetting old people or friends is like getting uprooted from base.
* It is more important to get act together to perform than to sit back and assume my work will be done. To fulfil my dreams I need to act not sleep.
* Listen to my heartbeats, as it says many things without a word. I got to sometimes follow my instinct and trust my impressions.
* Never to forget that number 10 only comes after 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 and 9. No matter how successful I become in life, it was possible due to presence of all those people and events in the past. I should never forget where I started.
* Never to make decision based on assumptions when dealing with any relationships. If I have any sort of feelings discuss, talk it out, clear it out and then decide, not doing so will be like falsely accusing someone truly innocent. Any behaviour that comes out of assumptions is foolishness. Its a reminder for me that I m not a learned person if I do so.
* If I don't respect members in my family, I would never respect anyone. I got to like and show appreciation to everyone in the society, younger or older.
* Keep track of basic things as getting overly involved with new technologies can leave my brain to rot. For instance, using phone books for contact numbers and calculator for maths should be least done. Drawing with pencil is still fun to draw than those digital sticks.
* Always thank ancestors for my existence. I use telecommunication or maps today because they put hard work to it. We got satellite navigation in car. But our ancestors introduced maps. Never to forget that we are standing on giant shoulders, our ancestors.
* I am just a human having fragile memory system. If I forget my basic I can always remind myself. I may sometimes get carried away and take credits for everything I achieved. Its good to remind myself that number 10 only comes after 9.
* If I am not ambitious then I don't know to live life. It is good to be ambitious only for better living but not to get carried away forgetting main purpose of my life. Working, spending time with my family, appreciating nature and returning favours back to the society.
* Every single person contributes something in our society good or bad, well is to share and bad to learn from.
* To perform I have to promise. If I don't promise I may start looking for different escape routes. 
* It is not house that matters but its home that does. I can make home out of smallest space if I know true meaning of having home.   
* I am blessed with creativity so I can make things I need from natures resources. Peaceful mind, calm sunset, green grass, water puddle these all can be experienced or created for happiness. These are lot better than buying and piling them in house making place more and more confined.
* Though there is bit of generation gap between me and my parents and I don't relate to life like they do, they still can potentially be right from what they learnt in their life which I may only realise when I got to step in same shoes as theirs. 
* No matter how high I could fly, my flight always directs downwards when journey end. No matter how much I grow, I will always grow old.
* Its shame I only just realised that I am not in talking terms with someone because I am still carrying him or her in mind. Judging and executing people based on my thoughts of feeling angry, jealous or competent. It’s a shame.

Like people say, it’s better late than never. I m glad I at least realised what was I doing wrong, as I can now work on it only to make things better leading to peaceful mind.

Gia Guru Nayak

I would like to share beautiful short story by Anthony de Mello about how smallest things in life can give us great pleasure.

The Best Tea In Japan.

There was a group of elderly gentlemen in Japan who would meet to exchange news and drink tea. One of their diversions was to search for costly varieties of tea and create new blends that would delight the palate.
When it was the turn of the oldest member of the group to entertain the others, he served tea with the greatest ceremony, measuring out the leaves from a golden container. Everyone had the highest praise for the tea and demanded to know by what particular combination he had arrived at this exquisite blend.
The old man smiled and said, “Gentlemen, the tea that you find so delightful is the one that is drunk by the peasants on my farm. The finest things in life are neither costly nor hard to find.”

 

Puzzle to puzzle

I was shopping around in toyshop to buy some puzzle block games for my nearly 2 years old son. I ended up buying one for myself too in the end. I was very excited buying them because I remembered having those more than a decade ago when computer games or electronic games weren't as popular as they are these days.

I chose to pick Puzzle game with cardboard pieces having irregular shapes, sizes and colours which when integrated completes into a picture of world map. I organised myself to start putting those puzzle together on board.

I had two options; play to win meaning I could take as long as I like to win in the end. Potentially having all those pieces in place correctly. This method could help me to make decisions without rushing too much. Which means I could breath slowly without getting too judgemental. 

The other alternative to play to win was count down time, where I could time myself to finish my game in certain sensible time frame. Meaning I had to be quick to finish my game and put all those disintegrated pieces in place before I ran out of time. Which also means I had to take quick decisions, breathe fast, may be hastily leading to dislocation and incomplete work.

I was aware that I was at beginners level without mastering my skills I would find very difficult to time myself. So thought of opting for first option, that is win to play and then thought of playing with count down timer the next time. I felt doing so would be fair as I could possibly put them together with my past experience. Deep inside I was nervous with a thought of possibly failing to integrate them by seeing numerous tiny shapes, sizes and colours. But I convinced myself to start playing, as I knew that to get results I need to play, without playing I will never get to experience and learn new things from it.

Learning to put puzzle together was more important than winning or loosing. I then had to centralize as I was deciding on where to start? As I belong to east part of the world. I thought it made more sense for me to start from countries in the east part of the world. I was doing pretty good and was enjoying every minute of putting that puzzle together bit by bit.

When I finished east part, gradually I moved to integrate middle east I knew I wasn't quite as good with it, so I thought of gathering similar colours hoping I will eventually get there and move further to Middle east then European countries, once again I noticed I was struggling to put every single countries together as I was only getting on well with known countries.

I collected matching colours and sizes hoping I could put them together. This logic of gathering similar colours and shapes helped me in a way because then I had to only look for missing gaps to fix pieces of puzzle in.

In an hours time I managed to put all those puzzle pieces together to create a picture of world map. I knew I had few more hours left before my son could wake up so thought to carry on to next option for beginners level and that was timing myself.

As it took an hour last time I thought of timing my game for 45 minutes this time. I started with confidence, as I knew basic logic behind putting puzzle together with help of different colours and had got jut out over it for the first time. I noticed that as soon as time started ticking I got bit restless and in many instances I left countries unfinished and moved to next one. I was getting too judgemental and concluding results without noticing that I was making mistakes. I was nowhere close to finishing line when clock started ticking to the remaining10seconds.

After 45 minutes my puzzle board looked absolute mess. I realised I wrongly jumped to greater level so early. I thought I could time myself without mastering it in first place. I asked myself one question, is there a message to this event of putting puzzle together. I felt like connecting this event to my real life experience.

If my life was like those pieces of puzzle holding different colour – events, size – experience and shapes – my knowledge. I thought how could I possibly put them all together to make my life a meaningful life.

I realised that my life is not any different from those puzzle pieces. My life sits on one board, that is my existence with different colour, sizes, shapes or events, experiences and knowledge. How I live life or play my game is purely my decision. I surely need to dream or to start somewhere to know where I am going because without the start I would never know the results.

Time I give for every little event will only help me to breathe slow and make right decisions and not get impulsive when dealing with people or events of my life. As rushing, breathing fast, getting too judgemental could lead my life in complete mess similar to those puzzle pieces left on board.

Gia Guru Nayak

Moving around furniture

I still have no clue why from very beginning, I loved moving around furniture, wherever I lived. I use to do it at my parents' too when I lived with them. I would go through all the bits in those furniture, like books, cards, papers, photographs, drawings, clothes, purses, shoes and then throw the ones not needed or give it away to someone who appreciated it more than I did.

I tend to get in sudden mood change which typically happens once in three months where I look into my belongings trying to release the bundled up items to make them lighter as much as possible every time I get my hands in.

It always gave me the pleasure to think that my furniture is now much lighter and so much easier to move around.

Recently one of my friends mentioned it to me that she feels that she walks into new house every time that same old furniture stood in different place in different angle. We ended up talking about my so-called hobby of moving around furniture until we could finish our cup of coffee.

This conversation then led to debate and this debate worked as a food for my thoughts. My friend feels that I like to look at things or life from all sides, all directions, all dimensions, to which I explained that reason why I always loved moving around furniture was because I fancied some change. To which she nodded and added saying, change was only possible because I look at same things with different dimension.

We then carried on with yes and no and may be. But this event connected me to what I could do with my brain and my thoughts. If my thoughts are like my furniture which are flexible to think and holds everything I have learnt. Whether good or bad, it still holds it.

To add new thoughts in I have to get rid of old stuffs, to do that I need to review what I am already holding. It's not necessary that I always stick to what I believe is right. I can still always try adding new thoughts to the olds.

My unnecessary thought needs to be thrown away and good thoughts needs to be shared or given away in the form of appreciations. I learnt that even though I haven't changed my brains I can still train it to look at every event of my life from different dimensions, so it can in return start looking graceful no matter what age, which place.

Gia Guru Nayak

Sorry I blamed you Mother Nature

I got bad news yesterday morning that my cousin, who is more like a friend to me lost her baby girl before she could welcome her to her life and this world. I had no words to express. I was so sorry for her loss. For a second my heart felt numb my body went cold. I could feel intense emotional pain within. Even though I wasn’t next to her I could feel that quiet moment she must have gone through when she heard that news of losing her first child.

Being mother myself, I could relate to what she was going through but the intensity of pain was felt only by her, someone who has lost her child. I still clearly remember my cousin's face when I met her last year. She was overly excited about her pregnancy and about her soon-to-be motherhood.

My mind started rushing with all those thoughts and facts that she might have to go through very shortly after she gave birth to a stillborn baby. What she must have felt when in hospital? Did she get scared? Would she hold her baby? Who would bathe and dress her? Did everyone gather to bless her baby? Did grandparents get to see their first grandchild in the family? Hoping she got some keepsakes and mementos and took lots of pictures? How would she feel to leave without baby in couple of days after she gets discharged from the hospital? Losing someone is painful. Grieving for them is, at times, unbearable. But forgetting them? Impossible just when you least expect it. I was at this point not even thinking of how baby’s father felt? I personally feel that when mother carries baby in her womb, father carries it in his mind? I was thinking of grandparents who are now getting old and can barely stand strong to see their children crying in pain, pain that would live deep impact for rest of their lives.

All these bad feelings piled up in my thoughts and I instinctively blamed Mother Nature to be so cruel. I curse her to be so thoughtless, so mercilessly hurting innocent creatures and playing with their emotions. I started to recall every major thing Mother Nature did to living being. How she harms innocents by getting moody and generating Avalanches, Blizzards, Contractible diseases, Cyclones, Earthquakes, Famines, Floods and Landslides, Heat waves, Limnic eruptions, Storms, Tornadoes, Tsunami, Volcanic eruptions, Wildfires and bushfires.

I thought enough is enough. I got upset and I got angry. In a way I was asking her the reasons why she made us, living beings so fragile, when she is so strong. Every mother struggles to give life, strength, happiness to their little ones, I asked why not you Mother Nature? Why Mother Nature? After a while I thought it’s unfair to blame someone. Things happen when it has to happen. So I thought of sitting down quietly without any thoughts or any harsh questions in my mind.

I started reflecting asking myself one question, have I shut all the doors of my mind, am I not thinking? Did I not pay close attention to the messages Mother Nature is trying to convey, all the lessons she ever taught us?

Her existence itself is a lesson and true example of how she abides us together, all living beings together. She gave birth to trees to teach us true meaning of selflessness, serving lives without any motto. Trees which then bears fruit so that we could overcome hunger, let her branches spread wide across to build nests and shades. Mother Nature has given birth to the affectionate Sun who is potentially sole reason why we living beings still survive. Mother Nature has got the courage to let sun go away every evening and waits patiently. She conceived seas and rivers that are so know for its generosity and then our earth that does everything to be rated as best in hospitality.

I felt I was gradually calming down. I was recalling lessons learnt from Mother Nature. I heard a voice trying to say something gently passing from my face towards my ears. Asking me to recall how I entered in this world after all that struggle I had to go through with that umbilical cord surrounded which could potentially strangle me, or that water which could have decided to stop protecting me. All those stages of my existence, from conception to the day I was born.

I knew that voice was trying to remind me every struggle I went through to start with. That voice asked me why I complained in the first place? Did I not learn my lesson yet? Did I not realise that life is sweeter version of struggle?

Like I always did, I questioned that voice and asked why I was given parents if life was a struggle, to which I heard a laughter and answer following it saying that I wasn’t thinking of all the struggles I went through to grasp little air when trying to suck milk and all those sleepless nights I had when my teeth tear my jaws and many bumps I had on every fall. I had to agree and was left speechless. I had nothing more to ask or say. I got the message. That message was to build my hope back together again. I was ashamed of blaming my teacher, my guardian only because I couldn’t recall all that Mother Nature taught me in my life so far.

I really hope my cousin will soon be blessed with a beautiful healthy baby. I have no more words to say. 

Gia Guru Nayak 

Inspiring stories I read when I am indecisive, Upset with someone,happy or sad

Indecisive: 
Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”

So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own - and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."


Upset with someone: 
Buddha seemed quite unruffled by the insults hurled at him by a visitor. When his disciples later asked him what the secret of his serenity was, he said: 

"Imagine what would happen if someone placed an offering before you and you did not pick it up. Or someone sent you a letter that you refused to open; you would be unaffected by its contents, would you not? Do this each time you are abused and you will not lose your serenity."

Happy:

True philosopher that he as, Socrates believed that the wise person
would instinctively lead a frugal life. He himself would not even wear
shoes; yet he fell under the spell of the marketplace and would go
there often to look at all the wares on display.When one of his friends
asked why, Socrates said: "I love to go there and discover how many 

things I am perfectly happy without."

Sad:

A little wave was bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air-- until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore."My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going  to happen to me!" Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, "Why do you look so sad?" The first wave says, "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us are going to be nothing! Isn't this terrible? "The second wave says, "No, YOU don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean."

Gia Guru Nayak