Moving around furniture

I still have no clue why from very beginning, I loved moving around furniture, wherever I lived. I use to do it at my parents' too when I lived with them. I would go through all the bits in those furniture, like books, cards, papers, photographs, drawings, clothes, purses, shoes and then throw the ones not needed or give it away to someone who appreciated it more than I did.

I tend to get in sudden mood change which typically happens once in three months where I look into my belongings trying to release the bundled up items to make them lighter as much as possible every time I get my hands in.

It always gave me the pleasure to think that my furniture is now much lighter and so much easier to move around.

Recently one of my friends mentioned it to me that she feels that she walks into new house every time that same old furniture stood in different place in different angle. We ended up talking about my so-called hobby of moving around furniture until we could finish our cup of coffee.

This conversation then led to debate and this debate worked as a food for my thoughts. My friend feels that I like to look at things or life from all sides, all directions, all dimensions, to which I explained that reason why I always loved moving around furniture was because I fancied some change. To which she nodded and added saying, change was only possible because I look at same things with different dimension.

We then carried on with yes and no and may be. But this event connected me to what I could do with my brain and my thoughts. If my thoughts are like my furniture which are flexible to think and holds everything I have learnt. Whether good or bad, it still holds it.

To add new thoughts in I have to get rid of old stuffs, to do that I need to review what I am already holding. It's not necessary that I always stick to what I believe is right. I can still always try adding new thoughts to the olds.

My unnecessary thought needs to be thrown away and good thoughts needs to be shared or given away in the form of appreciations. I learnt that even though I haven't changed my brains I can still train it to look at every event of my life from different dimensions, so it can in return start looking graceful no matter what age, which place.

Gia Guru Nayak

Sorry I blamed you Mother Nature

I got bad news yesterday morning that my cousin, who is more like a friend to me lost her baby girl before she could welcome her to her life and this world. I had no words to express. I was so sorry for her loss. For a second my heart felt numb my body went cold. I could feel intense emotional pain within. Even though I wasn’t next to her I could feel that quiet moment she must have gone through when she heard that news of losing her first child.

Being mother myself, I could relate to what she was going through but the intensity of pain was felt only by her, someone who has lost her child. I still clearly remember my cousin's face when I met her last year. She was overly excited about her pregnancy and about her soon-to-be motherhood.

My mind started rushing with all those thoughts and facts that she might have to go through very shortly after she gave birth to a stillborn baby. What she must have felt when in hospital? Did she get scared? Would she hold her baby? Who would bathe and dress her? Did everyone gather to bless her baby? Did grandparents get to see their first grandchild in the family? Hoping she got some keepsakes and mementos and took lots of pictures? How would she feel to leave without baby in couple of days after she gets discharged from the hospital? Losing someone is painful. Grieving for them is, at times, unbearable. But forgetting them? Impossible just when you least expect it. I was at this point not even thinking of how baby’s father felt? I personally feel that when mother carries baby in her womb, father carries it in his mind? I was thinking of grandparents who are now getting old and can barely stand strong to see their children crying in pain, pain that would live deep impact for rest of their lives.

All these bad feelings piled up in my thoughts and I instinctively blamed Mother Nature to be so cruel. I curse her to be so thoughtless, so mercilessly hurting innocent creatures and playing with their emotions. I started to recall every major thing Mother Nature did to living being. How she harms innocents by getting moody and generating Avalanches, Blizzards, Contractible diseases, Cyclones, Earthquakes, Famines, Floods and Landslides, Heat waves, Limnic eruptions, Storms, Tornadoes, Tsunami, Volcanic eruptions, Wildfires and bushfires.

I thought enough is enough. I got upset and I got angry. In a way I was asking her the reasons why she made us, living beings so fragile, when she is so strong. Every mother struggles to give life, strength, happiness to their little ones, I asked why not you Mother Nature? Why Mother Nature? After a while I thought it’s unfair to blame someone. Things happen when it has to happen. So I thought of sitting down quietly without any thoughts or any harsh questions in my mind.

I started reflecting asking myself one question, have I shut all the doors of my mind, am I not thinking? Did I not pay close attention to the messages Mother Nature is trying to convey, all the lessons she ever taught us?

Her existence itself is a lesson and true example of how she abides us together, all living beings together. She gave birth to trees to teach us true meaning of selflessness, serving lives without any motto. Trees which then bears fruit so that we could overcome hunger, let her branches spread wide across to build nests and shades. Mother Nature has given birth to the affectionate Sun who is potentially sole reason why we living beings still survive. Mother Nature has got the courage to let sun go away every evening and waits patiently. She conceived seas and rivers that are so know for its generosity and then our earth that does everything to be rated as best in hospitality.

I felt I was gradually calming down. I was recalling lessons learnt from Mother Nature. I heard a voice trying to say something gently passing from my face towards my ears. Asking me to recall how I entered in this world after all that struggle I had to go through with that umbilical cord surrounded which could potentially strangle me, or that water which could have decided to stop protecting me. All those stages of my existence, from conception to the day I was born.

I knew that voice was trying to remind me every struggle I went through to start with. That voice asked me why I complained in the first place? Did I not learn my lesson yet? Did I not realise that life is sweeter version of struggle?

Like I always did, I questioned that voice and asked why I was given parents if life was a struggle, to which I heard a laughter and answer following it saying that I wasn’t thinking of all the struggles I went through to grasp little air when trying to suck milk and all those sleepless nights I had when my teeth tear my jaws and many bumps I had on every fall. I had to agree and was left speechless. I had nothing more to ask or say. I got the message. That message was to build my hope back together again. I was ashamed of blaming my teacher, my guardian only because I couldn’t recall all that Mother Nature taught me in my life so far.

I really hope my cousin will soon be blessed with a beautiful healthy baby. I have no more words to say. 

Gia Guru Nayak 

Inspiring stories I read when I am indecisive, Upset with someone,happy or sad

Indecisive: 
Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers.. This was in the initial days. While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, “I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!”

So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.” After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. The disciple reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,” See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled down on its own - and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."


Upset with someone: 
Buddha seemed quite unruffled by the insults hurled at him by a visitor. When his disciples later asked him what the secret of his serenity was, he said: 

"Imagine what would happen if someone placed an offering before you and you did not pick it up. Or someone sent you a letter that you refused to open; you would be unaffected by its contents, would you not? Do this each time you are abused and you will not lose your serenity."

Happy:

True philosopher that he as, Socrates believed that the wise person
would instinctively lead a frugal life. He himself would not even wear
shoes; yet he fell under the spell of the marketplace and would go
there often to look at all the wares on display.When one of his friends
asked why, Socrates said: "I love to go there and discover how many 

things I am perfectly happy without."

Sad:

A little wave was bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air-- until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore."My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going  to happen to me!" Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, "Why do you look so sad?" The first wave says, "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us are going to be nothing! Isn't this terrible? "The second wave says, "No, YOU don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean."

Gia Guru Nayak

Get in rhythm with your healing hands.

Hands to heal you by creating something to feel good about self and at same time may be to serve others. Be it basic things like cooking a meal or cleaning, working from desk or on site, if you try to bring rhythm to whatever you do you will soon start to realise that you are healing yourself. 

If you find yourself in a position where going gets tough or you feel you can no longer go ahead with it then try some soothing techniques like singing your favourite tune or may be you just like to hum.

Giving rhythm to work sometimes help you to get organised for next task. You don’t need to have guests around to use your favourite cutlery and crockery. Get them out when you feel you need good change. Cook your favourite meal, garnish it with best ingredients you have. Set your table like you would do on those special occasions, play music you like, lit candles, switch on your special room freshener and have your perfect meal.

If your loved one is together its even better, you can make your moment much nicer by using red colours around, be it your tablecloth or napkins or any tableware. If you got kids it adds to your pleasure. You can get them all in one place and have fun filled time together.

When you are done with your meal, clean it all up. Don’t forget to get help from your loved ones to be quicker. Then get on floor and spread out drawing sheets and draw your thoughts. I feel getting on warm floor send positive vibes to your body and mind.  You do not need to be professional painter or creative head of any company to draw using your imaginations. Do not get discouraged if you notice your drawing a complete disaster. Smile you are drawing to feel good and not to put them on sale.

When you feel bit better and you think you are getting in rhythm then get dressed to go out and have a long walk. On your way back collect all those colourful gravels, if you are walking on seashore then collect few sea shells bring them back with you and wash them and decorate them in empty glass bottles or glass bowls as they add on to your home designs.

You can also grab a nice scented flower bouquet and display them in your favourite vase. Try to be creative by baking your own breads, cakes and biscuits. Learn to cook and be prepared to surprise your loved ones or guests. Love what you do.

Notice and appreciate nature around you, take your camera with you if you like to capture things your eyes have seen. Observe little details of what nature has to offer. Smile when you see those little dewdrops on grass, plants and trees. Feel the warm sunlight in you, if you are out in the evenings then sit back to see sunset and observe those birds returning to their nests. Spot those little birds flapping wings to catch up with the speed of their fellow mates.

Places in your home or office where you tend to spend most of your time, try giving it more pleasant look. Use your favourite shades on bed sheets and pillows covers. Give it a rhythm, display things according to its shapes and sizes, most used and least used.

Hold hands of your loved ones, children or friends. Try it as holding hands with another person is a very healing action. Sit down in a quite place need not say a word. Let heart do its job, its very good at passing messages without words when happy or when sad.

Do some gardening, run your fingers on those lovely flowers and fruits, leaves and grass, branches and stems. Once again if you are on seashore build your own sand castles, feel the warmth in the sand, let that warmth travel in your body through skin.

Blow a kiss with your hands to your loved ones and friends when you finished with arguments and getting back home together and wish them good luck raising your thumbs up.

You need not be a part of audience in a show to clap. Clap when you feel happy, clap to show appreciation. Generate a rhythm and clap accordingly. You might soon realise those sounds generated by clapping your hands are one of your favourite tunes.

Don’t forget to massage your hands, legs and face with your favourite massage oil and may be get a back massage from your partner and if you like give warm massages to your loved ones too.

If you find too difficult to do things on your own then get online and watch others getting creative as that can sometimes inspire you and motivate you to do something creative.

Try to always remember our basics. Where we come from and where would we go in the end. Little things bring more happiness and bigger things can sometimes not long last. If we find happiness in little things we would never notice difference of how big things look like.

War within, ''What matters today means nothing tomorrow''

I try to reflect on self by sitting down quietly everyday for 15 minutes after my son, Gautam goes to bed. This is a time when I try to recall every little details, which occurred in a day.

Thinking about people I met, what I spoke, how I responded to people's gestures, how I replied to their questions, what conversations I had and what it led to, if I gave enough time to everyone I met today, if I was considerate, if I was thoughtful, hoping I did not try to overly get involved in people's lives by commenting in a way supporting their views, if I tried to manipulate things so it looks like I was right, if I tried to raise my voice because I felt I was right or maybe I felt I knew more, if I said thank you to show appreciation to people who helped me, if I fed my family, my fishes, my pets and birds outside?

Did I help someone without expecting favours in return and finally thinking of what I can do to make sure that with all these questions in my mind I should start with fresh thoughts next sunrise without getting too judgmental or trying to convince myself that I hold better position and not trying to look down upon others.

When I get answers to all my questions in my thoughts I then tend to repeat this sentence in my mind for couple of times "what matters today means nothing tomorrow", saying so helps me to grow within. This sentence directs me to neutral gear.

I then smile, this smile is in a way commanding my brain to erase little details which really makes no sense if present in thoughts and makes no difference if it's nonexistent. It takes about 10 minutes to get answers to my questions; the remaining 5 minutes are to frame questions for next fresh start.

Will I smile and greet every individual I meet, no matter what experience I had with him or her, good or bad? Will I give enough quality time to people so they get chance to express themselves too? Will I show appreciation to everyone who supported my existence and stand by me when I needed the most? Strangers are teachers of life too will I respect them? I don't have to be right every time; will I show consideration to those who have their own views? It's natural to get in argument as everyone thinks not the same, will I remind myself to forgive and forget? Am I sure that I served my child and husband before I could lend helping hands to others? Will I always be aware that my existence on earth is not to hurt some, or be judgmental every minute, or to make comments or say something on every incidents, or to compare myself to others or vice versa? Will I be aware that every individual have their own rights to own things they have, be that intelligence or intangible goods as I have no rights to prove self or anyone their grades with superior or inferior tags?

Towards the end of 15 minutes when I am done with framing questions for my better tomorrow I then tend to have 2 minutes of peaceful no thoughts moment. These 2 minutes of quite moment has thought me a lesson too that I need to conquer the war within. Most of my good and bad of life is on how I think. I need to learn to open and broaden ways of thinking so that it helps me to look at life from different aspects and not get carried away with limited thoughts making my life along with others quite painful. I need to remember one sentence "what matters today means nothing tomorrow" to conquer the war within.

Gia Guru Nayak 

Search Amazon.com Home&Garden for

Seventeenth Century Nun's Prayer

My husband and I use to work together to manage and run a coffee shop business in Oxfordshire for few years, that coffee shop was in one of the oldest buildings in south facing part of Abingdon. Apparently it was built in 15th century. Its loft, which was then extended in 18th century, had some bric-a-brac in. One of the previous owners of that building must have thought of dumping old photo frames in that gap of extended loft may be to upgrade their photo frames collections or  may be to get rid of them. In year 2007 when we had heavy down pours we noticed some water dripping from the ceiling so my husband thought of getting in the loft to see if there was any problems in the roof or roof tiles. We managed to get it sorted and fixed but were surprised to see tons of picture frames lying in the gap of two lofts. We had two options either selling them or displaying them in our coffee shop. We opted to display few in coffee shop and live rest for our friends. All pictures were black and white and most of them were sketches of beautiful girls dancing or working in traditional English pubs and tearooms. There were few pictures, which had Egyptian ladies cooking, and serving food to their gods. One of the picture frames was very unique it did not have any pictures but had some script on it, which read Seventeenth Century Nun's Prayer author unknown. I was very pleased having found it and thought of displaying it on the way to stairs leading to first floor seating. Ever since then I always made it a point to read it once in a week, which was mostly done on Sunday mornings, my day off. The reason why I enjoyed reading it was because it had unexplained depth to it. Every time I read it I got different meaning, different expose to real essence of my life. I felt I wasn't alone. I felt I am not any different. I felt I was only human. I was always so busy doing different things that reading Seventeenth Century Nun's Prayer every Sunday just became a routine and I never thought of looking for its author or its origin. Today I was reading beautiful Christian story '' A Bible for Graduation'' and it said author unknown, this event connected me to the event when I first read Seventeenth Century Nun's Prayer and never knew whom the author was. So thought of doing some online search hoping to find the author for that beautiful, inspiring prayer. Alas! I still have no clue who was the author.

I thought of sharing it with you all because it is so inspiring. We need not have to be religious or believe in a particular religion to read this prayer. I personally feel this prayer is not to speak reverently to god or a god in order to express thanks or make request.  This is beautiful piece of work, which is actually helping us to reflect in self and also feel good that we are only humans.

Here it goes,

Lord, You know better than I know myself that 

I am growing older and will someday be old. 

Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say 

something on every subject and on every occassion. 

Release me from the craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. 

Make me thoughtful, but not moody. Helpful, but not bossy. 

With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, 

but You know, Lord, I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the endless recital of details;

give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. 

They are increasing, and love of rehearsing them 

is becoming sweeter as the years go by.

I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales

of others' pains, but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory, 

but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness 

when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. 

Teach me the glorious lesson that occassionally, I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint 

- some of them are so hard to live with.

But a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. 

Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, 

and talents in unexpected people. 

And give me, Lord, the grace to tell them so.

Amen 

How to Argue Logically

I have been reading about different philosophers and their works and contributions. I found this article below quite interesting and so decided to share ot with you all. This piece of work is contributed by Richard H Popkin. (December 27, 1923—April 14, 2005) was an academic philosopher who specialized in the history of enlightenment philosophy and early modern anti-dogmatism. His 1960 work The History of Scepticism from Erasmus to Descartes ^[1]Pyrrhonian Scepticism of Sextus Empiricus. Popkin also was an internationally acclaimed scholar on Jewish and Christian millenarianism and messianism. introduced previously unrecognised influence on Western thought in the seventeenth century, the

How to Argue Logically

We like to think that we speak logically all the time, but we are aware that we sometimes use illogical means to persuade others of our point of view. In the heat of an impassioned argument, or when we are afraid our disputant has a stronger case, or when we don't quite have all the facts we'd like to have, we are prone to engage in faulty processes of reasoning, using arguments we hope will appear sound.

Such defective arguments are called fallacies by philosophers who, starting with Aristotle, have catalogued and classified these fallacious arguments. There are now over 125 separate fallacies, most with their own impressive-sounding names, many of them in Latin.

Some arguments have easily recognizable defects. For instance, in the argument ad hominem, a person's views are criticized because of a logically irrelevant personal defect: "You can't take Smith's advice on the stock market; he's a known philanderer." In the genetic fallacy, something is mistakenly reduced to its origins: "We know that emotions are nothing more than physiology; after all, medical research has shown emotions involve the secretion of hormones." Another illogical argument is named for the erroneous thinking a wagering person may fall prey to, the gambler's fallacy (also called the Monte Carlo fallacy): "I'm betting on heads; it's got to come up since we've just had nine straight tails."

Some fallacies may not be recognized as erroneous reasoning because they are such commonly used forms of argument. For instance, if we say, "I'm sure my cold is due to the weather; I started sneezing right after it went from 60 degrees to 31 degrees in three hours," we are committing the fallacy with the Latin name of post hoc ergo propter hoc ("after this, therefore because of this"). Many a political argument exemplifies the fallacy of arguing in a circle; for instance: "Only wealthy men are capable of leading the country; after all, leadership can be learned only if you have had money to exercise power." Many prejudicial or stereotypical arguments commit the fallacy of division, or of applying to the part what may be true of the whole: "North Dakota has wide-open spaces; since Jack's farm is there, it must be quite large." The converse of this is the fallacy of composition, where properties of the parts are erroneously attributed to the whole: "Every apple on this tree is rotten; therefore, the tree itself is hopelessly diseased."

It may be a surprise to realize that some widely accepted forms of argument are just as fallacious as the most logically defective reasoning. When we appeal to the beliefs or behavior of the majority to prove the truth of something, we are committing the fallacy of consensus gentium: "Imbibing alcohol cannot be bad for people, since all cultures studied have used alcohol." Or consider the person who argues that "Tragedy is the highest form of literature; after all, didn't Aristotle consider it such?" This is a form of the fallacy of arguing from authority. There is also the fallacy of ignoratio elenchus, which has nothing to do with ignorance; its name means that the point made is irrelevant to the issue at hand, as in the untenable view of a lawyer who says, "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you cannot convict my client of manslaughter while driving under the influence; after all, advertisements for alcohol exist everywhere in our culture."

Fallacy

{fal'-uh-see}

In logic, a fallacy is a form of reasoning that is illogical or that violates the rules of valid argumentation. A formal fallacy makes strict violations of the rules of logic. An informal fallacy does not violate the rules of logic, but it violates the rules of valid reasoning or arrives at unsound conclusions, because of unsound reasoning.

A common formal fallacy involves affirming the consequent or denying the antecedent in hypothetical reasoning. That is, if A, then B, affirming B as the proof of A, or denying A as the basis for denying B. In either case, it does not follow that the affirmation or the denial proves what is claimed. Thus, if all Americans are bald (A), then all Americans require no hairdressers (B)--the affirmation of B, that is, saying it is true, does not prove A; neither does the denial of A prove the denial of B.

Two other kinds of formal fallacies that are important are the argument from the undistributed middle and the conversion of a universal positive proposition. In the first, it is argued that "all A is B" and "all C is B"; therefore, "all A is C." If "Americans" is substituted for "A", "human beings" for "B", and "Hungarians" for "C", it is easily seen that the argument is fallacious. In the other case, it is argued that if "all A is B," then "all B is A"; this is obviously fallacious if the same substitutions are made.

Because informal fallacies occur much more frequently in ordinary discussions, in political speeches, and in advertising, they are, in some ways, more important. Some of these fallacies are a result of the ambiguity of the terms used; people often slip unconsciously from one meaning of a term to another. Other major informal fallacies are the ignoratio elenchi, that is, arguing for something different from the question asked; and the tu quoque argument, in which an unsound argument is justified by claiming the unsoundness of another. These soon degenerate into the argument ad hominem, in which the argument of an opponent is countered by pointing to his or her personal faults rather than by considering the substance of the argument; and the argument from authority, which appeals to famous or important people who agree with a particular point of view.

Richard H Popkin

Original Inspirational Quotes

Few original Quotes I could think of. If you got more thoughts do write to me, I am happy to publish them with your name and place below.  We all need inspirational quotes to live with. You could all find my quotes and few more contributions on http://www.great-inspirational-quotes.com/

Attitude: If I had wings I would love to sit with wings widely open, reason being firstly I don't have to worry about my flight down and secondly it works as shelters for those who cannot fly. 

Conclusion: Jumping to conclusion is like jumping monkey, no thought only jumping which takes you nowhere. Every action has its own reason which is unique, so don't generalize. 

Search Amazon.com Computers for Opportunity: I always think that it's not Opportunity that knocks our door, but it should be us who should be doing vice verse but make sure we hold hands of confidence and trust to do that. 

Sensible living: Make it a habit of drinking wine in shot glass and water in pint glass to appreciate good health and sensible living. 

Hope: My grandfather introduced me to god because he wants me to never lose hope. 

Adive and Motivation: 'Careful' can be advice but 'can do it' is a motivation I say it to my son. 

Lies: He who lies to hide the truth never realizes that lies can never hide. 

Motivation: Continuously and Consistently are two words that can take you miles.

Power: Learn to control yourself not others, as power is not as mightier as intelligence.

Problem: Problem is not when you dont know something but it is when you think you know everything.
  

Sensible:Doubting, judging, concluding are bad things you could do to others and worse to yourself.

Good souls: Good souls embrace, others abandon. Do not compare but grow compassion as events in people's lives are projections of how they will behave or respond. 
 
Gia Guru Nayak 

Have you lived enough?

Have you lived enough? Enough to say you lived your life to the fullest. 

Do you appreciate the fact that you are blessed with everything you always wanted? 

Do you appreciate the fact that you are born with all the senses working? 

Hands to work with, legs to walk with and heart to love with? 

Do you appreciate the fact that you love someone without expecting much in return? 

Do you appreciate the fact that you get different options to eat, clothes to wear and clean water to drink? 

Do you appreciate people who gave you birth and your ancestors who gave them lives? 

Do you appreciate the fact that you are blessed with enough thoughts to keep you going for your survival and means to living?

Today if you find out that it’s your last day to live would you smile and look up to say thank you. 

Would you appreciate for everything you are blessed with?

Gia Guru Nayak 
Search Amazon.com Jewelry&Watches for watches

My Journey towards death

Thoughts of my journey towards death, journey beyond it where there is absence of life, had to look for the answer, thoughts had to look for the meaning.

Sunny nice day on beach with my family, we all sat down building sand castles, close to the seawater that wasn’t very far. Started building one then few more. It had boundaries and were recognised as ours, recognised as mine. It had shape and was firm with bit of moisture in it, in no time water in form of huge waves decided to take it belongings with it, my sand castle away with it. Those sand castles, that stood firm and tall few minutes ago.

I got sad, I got quiet only to realise I had found my answer. I knew where my journey was going to, I knew where I would go when I was no more I. My soul would jump up high in the air, my blood as vapour, my flesh in the earth and big waves which took my sand castle away would come again to welcome me to get together with my family, all those elements I am made up of.

I will be still in this world not in the form I am now, I would not be recognised. I will be waiting for the next creator who would put me together, giving me a form, giving me my name. I realised I got quiet and calm to know the meaning and the answer to my thoughts.

I sat back to think for some more time only to get ashamed of self. My thoughts of where would my ill feelings go? I had within me. Where would they go? Would they travel with me? All the hatred, jealousy, and anger I have within me.

I heard some voice it was from my mind. That voice tried to say something. It shouted saying leave it to the fire it will burn it all away. That voice made me scared, that voice made me ashamed. I started to think if there was any nicer way.

As a natural way to defend myself I thought of good feelings I have developed in me. I smiled in a way it was to feel good and to convince myself that I had good feelings too which would travel with me on my journey towards death.

I heard some voice again. It was same voice from my mind, which said my good feelings would go back in the earth; my good feelings would go back with my heart, the flesh that is going back to the earth. I was left alone again with my thoughts to look for the answer, to know where my ill feelings would go? By this point it started to feel heavier it started to appear bigger.

All those ill feelings were in a way gathering every bit around to get heavier and appear bigger only to make me feel smaller and ashamed. I knew I had to look for the answer to dispose off my ill feelings, as I knew my ill feelings had nowhere to go. It was trapped in my thoughts it was taking its control. Laughing at me. I knew I cannot take it with me, I knew fire would burn my ill feelings all away but it would take me along with its blaze. I got scared, I got ashamed. Ill feelings made me smaller and smaller as it got bigger and heavier every minute. I knew ill feeling had nothing to do with my journey towards death.

I got ashamed, thinking why I developed it in the first place? I would have to go through the fire to get my ill feelings to its home. My ill feelings got taller than me looking on me and smiling. I could see victory in its eyes. It felt happy, as it knew that I wasn’t going to the earth where good feelings lived in form of flesh, in form of heart. I had tears in my eyes. I felt I was losing. Losing with things that I developed.

I still had some hopes looking for the answer. My eyes looked everywhere. It looked right and left, up and down. It looked up again. I felt I found my answer. Indeed I found my answer. I knew my ill feelings could go up in the sky in form of stars, which would twinkle in the dark. Show right direction to people who have lost their way, their way back to the earth.

I smiled as I found good place for my ill feelings to be. Its home, its authoritative position up in the sky. It was now time to get organised. It was the time to break my ill feelings into small bits. So small that it was easier to fly up in the sky. I knew I needed help, as it was difficult to break my ill feelings into small bits. It stood tall, heavy, big.

I noticed my ill feelings got numb. It stood there weak. It knew what I had in my mind. It knew it had to go, as it cannot travel any further with me. As it wasn’t recognised where I am going.

I was still looking around for help. I heard something. It was power inside me called Will which stood up slowly but firmly and said it was happy to help me but only if I agreed to do it in its own way. I was happy I had help so I asked what was its way? It said I would have to smile on every attempt of hitting my ill feelings to small bits. It said how difficult it would get when my will got stronger and stronger. How difficult it would get to start with and only get easier towards the end. Hearing to it I assured and promised my Will that I would smile on every attempt to break my ill feelings to bits.

Before I could move any further I heard a voice again. It said I could help. I was very glad with the feeling I had more support to break down ill feeling which I had build so far. It was Hope. It said it was happy to help me too but only if I did things its way. On asking it said that I will have to hold on to it very tight same time make sure I didn't lose it as it was very fragile. I knew it was very big challenge, as I had to juggle everything with smile on my face holding onto my hope firmly with my Will, which would get stronger and stronger towards the end.

I was very ashamed of what I had to go through to destroy something that I couldn’t take it with me till the end. Something with no meaning or no contribution. Something I developed all these years, which couldn’t come along to my journey towards the death. I am pleased I have solution that my ill feelings had somewhere to go. Be a star up in the sky, to shine when there is complete darkness. To show direction to people who lost their journey towards death.

I have started my attempt of breaking down my ill feeling into small bits. I now know how nice it feels. I heard some voice again it wasn’t my mind this time. The voice was from the sky. It said start today and only concentrate on your work. Do not get distracted. If you do yours then world is the nicest place of all. Do it together and it gets faster and quicker. Do it together but not for each other. We all are on our journey towards the death. Let's all get together. Walk hands in hands. As towards the end there is nothing more to hold on to but on the way there is plenty to drop. This walk is getting nicer and gentler. Let us all make this walk, our journey towards the death a memorable one.

Gia Guru Nayak